I'm feeling torn. I have even more of a longing to go to heaven now that my Meme has joined my Papa there. I'm teetering on the edge of hysteria and sound peace that God is dancing with her now. My humanness is so evident when I'm faced with losing my dear grandma, it is clear in my random wailing. Our missionary from Ecuador was just preaching about it on Sunday. Blessed are those who mourn. I love you meme. If only a single tear could bring her back and make things as they were before she lost her understanding. Her hugs and smiles. So glad that the last time I saw her I was able to see her smile and hear her speak. "There is your baby!" That's the last thing she said to me. I am so thankful for that. My stomach aches for my sweet mother. Just one reflection in the mirror of my Meme's life. She was so brave to call me last night even though she was only able to give me the news before she choked up and had to hang up. All I could do was focus on Rylee and get her to sleep. Then I was able to lay in my husbands gentle arms and weep. I was able to see Meme as she was in a dream the night before and she said goodbye to me. I know God allowed me to know when she would go. I knew before the phone rang. I knew she had entered Heaven and there was a great celebration for her coming home. It won't be long now, Meme and we will all be joining you.
It is amazing to think of all the incredible people who simply would not be if not for her. I am honestly too exhausted to count and name them all, but in short, 4 children, 12 grandchildren and a vast amount of great-grandchildren. I love you all, my family, and I know you are feeling this loss as much as I. Meme brought us together on the occasional holiday and Aunt Suzy is trying to do the same, and succeeding! Let's keep it up. We need each other.
Blessings to you all. And God's comfort and peace to you too. Amen
